All Right you Mothers - Part #2

          So, the high school that our older daughter attended and the younger one still attends, last year, grade 12, is on my way to work and I’ve been dropping one or the other one off on my way in for . . . wow, eight years now, and the process in the school parking lot has been getting irritating.


          It’s a parking lot, space to park many cars, and at that time of morning – 8:00 am, I’m late for work, always – there are still plenty of empty spaces, mostly in the row nearest the school building, and this is exactly where I pull into a spot, wish my kid a good day, tell her I love her, and let her out. Unfortunately, there’s a line-up of cars on the road in and all through the travelling lanes in the parking area, people – women, I mean. Mothers, stopping in the driving lane, not taking a spot, and letting their kids out. I drive around it when I can, to a parking space, let my daughter out, back out of the spot and carry on to work, because I’m late, as always, and I’m pissed, I can’t abide all these soccer moms in their giant cars stopping in the middle of the road.


          Then, once they’ve stopped, you can see these normal teens slowly and passive-aggressively get out of the front seat, shuffle around the car, open the back or the very back to retrieve their backpacks etc., and this often after a minute’s delay where apparently nothing is moving. I suspect these normal parents are reading their normal teen some version of the Riot Act, nattering at them about something; their teens hate them, but one more lecture will probably do the trick. Apologies to everyone else in the line of cars, but this could be the one! This speech could be the one that finally reaches my teen!


          Besides the one above, I drive away from this scene every morning, trying not to think this nasty thought: that women don’t give a crap about each other, about all the other parents in that line up, they will stop in the middle of the road to do their parenting, to deal with their own family and their own problems while every other parent waits for their turn. Also this – do these parents not have jobs? Are they happy to spend several minutes doing something that should take seconds because they have no-where to be? Which, of course, if that is the case for any of them, I repeat: they are not giving a crap about those of us who do have places to be.


          Maybe it’s hard to back those great SUV’s up, maybe that’s why some don’t take a parking stall – but I’m sorry. In my grumpy morning commute road rage state of mind at the time, that’s all part of the ‘mother’s privilege’ too: the bloody SUV. Soccer moms and their SUVs are operating out of the same sort of attitude. They want the giant car, gets them up off the road where they can see more of what’s happening on the road, it’s for their families’ safety – and it kills visibility for those of us still driving little cars, those of us trying to create less greenhouse gas. Plus of course, the extra pollution. We, in our little cars can see less than ever, can’t see past these giant cars at all, so every time someone buys an SUV it’s an attack on the safety of those that don’t. “My family is above the traffic now, we’re safe” – and forget the rest of you, is the attitude, albeit tacit.


          That is the dark side of a parent’s – a mother’s – single-minded concern for her family: the trade-off of everyone else’s comfort and safety for it. Parenting is unconscious and generally antithetical to civilization. Family concerns need to be balanced against what is good for everyone. It doesn’t have to be ‘us against the world;’ we’re making it like that. Let’s work together, help our families, help our kids, and help the world. That principle applies in many ways.


          When we keep our kids away from the bad kids, we’re protecting ours, but if we are “good” families, then we’re denying those bad kids some good influences. When we arm ourselves against the bad people who may prey on us, then we’re promoting force and violence as a way to solve our problems – a lesson many people get in trouble for learning too well. When we cheat on or otherwise niggle regarding our taxes we are saving money for our families, but withholding revenue that may help feed, house, or otherwise help other families . . . all these sorts of things that we do to protect ourselves and our kids from the big bad world ultimately work to make that world bigger and badder than it might have been.


          “Safety First” is one hundred percent appropriate in the face of threats to our lives. Other than that, all of our safety concerns need to be traded off against social concerns. We should be looking for ways to protect mankind generally, and we should always be trying to make our choices as far toward the socially preferable end of the scale as possible, by default. That means just looking after us ours and ourselves doesn’t cut it, morally. It needs to move from “My family is safe” – and forget the rest of you, to “My family is safe enough” – with apologies and thanks for the rest of you.


          Morally speaking, I’m not interested in your faithfulness, or your strict adherence; I’m only interested in the size of your moral circle. If I and my family aren’t in yours, then of course I think you need to shape up.





October 10, 2015

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Comments (16)

  1. mister-sandman

    Anyone, anywhere, in a car for some reason thinks they are the only ones on the road or in the parking lot. I’m glad I live in the country now and don’t have to deal with all that school traffic anymore.

    October 10, 2015
    1. Neighsayer

      true that

      October 10, 2015
  2. sugarcookie1975

    Home school .. (wipes sweat off brow) LOL!!

    October 11, 2015
    1. Neighsayer

      I’m sure I’d find something to complain about in the line-up for the bathroom.

      October 11, 2015
      1. sugarcookie1975


        October 11, 2015
  3. wonderwall79

    I’m not against women drivers cause I think it’s mostly men that are dick heads that drive too fast or macho like but we know this and we as men take it on the chin
    However around schools and supermarkets women drive way too fast an only care about themselves.
    They never stop or should say hardly stop at pedestrian crossing they are just too busy concentrating on whatever it is.
    But in this country they say oh drivers need to slow down at schools and supermarkets just say women need to slow down.
    Cause they always say that dudes need to in TV ads but such is life

    October 11, 2015
    1. Neighsayer


      October 11, 2015
  4. belladora

    I like the drop off Moms and Dads that discuss their weekend plans while holding up a line of cars. They haven’t seen each other in a day or so. Do not care there are telephones and park side by side and chat. Why beep your horn, they just ignore you. This should be on a list of pet peeves. Oh, is it only women ?

    October 11, 2015
    1. Neighsayer

      like I said, I’m driving away from there trying not to think that. Failing, though . . .

      October 11, 2015
  5. belladora

    Loved the topic, loved the post !

    October 11, 2015
  6. jorjagrayson

    Besides of the hectic and busy daily routine one should follow his moral circle. Stated by best dissertation services, such practices make you a nicer individual. No matter how much busy and tiring our schedule is, we must behave nicely to others and pay attention to our families.

    August 18, 2017
  7. Neighsayer

    Maybe a little better

    October 11, 2015
  8. Neighsayer

    On my phone and roaming expensively to AT&T in the States . . . More later

    October 11, 2015
  9. Neighsayer

    I know the family is supposed to be the basic organizational unit in society, I think Pinker even said it, and I’d agree, I think it should be that way – but the attitude that needs to be fought these days is the American myth, the rigged independence thing, and as I said, this ‘us against the world’ attitude . . .

    October 11, 2015