Love Flowing Backwards

It’s a sad thing, but a vicious cycle, and a real one, in many families: reverse flow.   In some families, and to some degree or other in many families, sad to say, it is the children who sacrifice, the children that spend their days protecting...

Don't Turn Your Back on your Childhood Self

When I was a kid, and still pretty young, I realized my parents were crazy.   There was a moment that I remember, although I'm sure it's not an isolated incident. We were in the car, going somewhere or coming back, all of us, me and my brother,...

Consequences, shmonsequences . . .

Change your ways, people, not your words, or not only your words. Consequences, discipline, 'cause and effect,' these are all words for punishing. If you're imposing any of these things, you're punishing . . . and yes, that's . . . bad. I am the...

Regarding “Boundaries”

“Boundaries” are a favourite buzzword for parents and parenting gurus alike. We all have ‘personal boundaries,’ of course, but ‘boundaries for kids’ aren’t the personal kind, or they aren’t all the personal kind. Kids are bound in more ways than that....

Fail at Controlling Your Kids

This is it, this is what I'm saying.   Not "control your kids without punishment," or "control your kids without physical punishment."   I'm not trying to tell anyone that is is possible to control your kids without punishment.   ...

Negative Effects on Cognitive Development

I see rewards and punishments as very detrimental to learning about the real world. I think the kids minds are not properly developed by the adults always substituting artificial effects for real world effects that would have had an actual...